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I Talk Like That

from GHOSTS by Jim Woodland

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about

‘I Talk Like That’ presupposes that successfully learning to speak proper English in an acceptable establishment way often involves getting educated beyond your intelligence and promoted beyond your abilities.

lyrics

He was a teacher of some degree
Teaching English as it should be spoke.
Teaching everybody to talk like him.
Must be some kind of a joke.
When we met I said 'Hello'
He said 'Somebody spoke. Was it you?'
I said 'Thankyou'. He said 'Suit yourself'.
I said 'I always do'.
I talk like that.
I talk like that.
I talk like that.
I talk like that.
I’ve got no choice!

We started again about rain in Spain
And what some cat did on a mat.
I said 'How now?' to this brown cow
But I couldn't relate to all that.
He told me 'English is perfectly painless'.
I thought I'd like to choke him.
He said 'That's easy for you to say'
I said 'You must be joking'.
I talk like that.
I talk like that.
I talk like that.
I talk like that.
I have to!

I said 'Look, if I wrote I could give you a note
Or a telegram might do instead'.
He said 'Here's an idea, you could make yourself clear
with a note! ...Is that what you said?'
With a tear in his eye he started to cry and he fell down to his knees.
He cares about the Queens English...
I couldn't care if she's Chinese.
I talk like that.
I talk like that.
I talk like that.
I talk like that.

I may be common as muck
That’s my good luck….

© Jim Woodland

credits

from GHOSTS, released June 15, 2022

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all rights reserved

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Jim Woodland UK

Hit & Run Street Theatre in the 1980's, Punk Band Red Rinse in the 90's, Fabulous Salami Brothers, Songwriter for Mikron Theatre and Blaize for 20 years, performing solo, and with the Anti-Capitalist Roadshow.
Political, social, emotional songs and plays. Watch this space. Latest collection here and back catalogue to follow. Welcome to Band Camp and on we go... ... more

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